- Sat, July 30 2011
- Filed under: Video
After I posted a terrific 100,000 Homes campaign video earlier this week, several of you wonderful readers sent me your own videos.
Woody Bartley of A Chance for Bliss shared this video about his wonderful pet sanctuary. He asked for advice – and kindly agreed to my posting his video and the advice here. I also invited two super smart people to weigh in on the video – Mark Rovner and Alia McKee of Sea Change Strategies. Here’s the video – and our advice.
1. Cut the introduction from the video. This is a case of telling not showing – telling us how to feel, telling us what we’re about to see and telling us why it matters. It’s abstract and intangible. Woody, you’re much better off diving into the real story right away, beginning with breakfast for the pups. You had us at the pug in the diaper, so let that darling creature lead things off. This reminds of another piece of advice we often give – throw out the first paragraph of your appeal. It’s natural to warm up to a topic when you’re telling a story. That’s fine for drafts. But for prime time, you should delete the warm-up and get to the heart of things.
2. Cut the overall video length, unless this is a longer video meant to be shown at a gala. For online, you want two minutes maximum. Shorter is better – and more powerful.
3. Punch up the call to action. The video gets rather bleak at the end with all the language around limited resources. Turn it to a positive with a stronger call to action at the end – Give us $X and we will do $x with a link. People feel moved, so hit them with a specific ask.
Woody, thanks for sharing your work. We wish you great success in fundraising, because the images of those animals will be with us for a long time to come!