Bravo, Humane Society Washington: A three-word story that inspires action
- Fri, February 25 2011
- Filed under: Marketing essentials
Here’s a sidewalk critique - literally. I was at the corner of 11th and R St. in Washington DC this past weekend, and I was stopped in my tracks by this bus-stop ad. So few nonprofits tell good stories. I was encouraged to see one: “all 17 pounds.”
It reads:
Dumbledore. All 17 pounds of him when we took this picture. But the 21-year-old college student who owned him was too busy with school, cheerleading and beauty pageants to notice him starving to death.
It’s a sad story - but the charity provides a way to stop it. The call to action underneath is: Don’t look away from animal cruelty. Included are phone numbers and contact information for the Washington Humane Society.
What I like: A vivid story in three sentences—about the dog, the person who forgot him and the need for action.
What I’d change: I’d tweak the copy to say “Dumbledore. All 17 pounds of him when we took this picture. The 21-year-old college student who owned him was too busy with school and cheerleading to notice him starving to death, but someone noticed. Now he’s a beautiful 40 pounds.”
I took out the “but,” the “beauty pageants” (it’s a little over the top) and put in a turnaround message, playing with the concept of true beauty.
I’d also slightly change the call to action to “Save pets like Dumbledore. Report animal cruelty.” It’s better than the vague “Don’t look away,” which is not really a clear call to action. Now it’s a little less sad and blaming—and a little more empowering and inspiring.
But overall, great job on the sidewalk.
Comments
I’ll hand it to them on the succinct story and concoction of white space. It’s effective. However, I like your rendition of the message better, though! What struck me too was that the original call to action was a tad obscure.
I really hate people that doesn’t treat their pets well. Sadly there are still many that don’t deserve to have one.
Regards.