8 ways to calm an angry constituent

Someone is angry at you.  Somewhere, out there, a donor is miffed at their volume of direct mail.  Or a co-worker feels slighted.  Or a volunteer feels unappreciated.  Or your significant other is simmering.

What do you do when someone is upset with you?  Deal with it! 

1. Create ways to listen: The key to good donor relations, stellar customer service and strong human relations is to set up a dynamic where people can easily complain or raise concern BEFORE they are raving mad.  Be sure you have a phone number (answered by a nice person) displayed on all your outreach, email contacts and blogs and other outreach that enable conversation. 

2. Listen: If someone is venting, let them vent.  Let them rant and rave until they stop for air.

3. Acknowledge: Say exactly what they said back to them - it’s called reflective listening.  “It sounds like you’re really frustrated with us because of x, y and z.” This makes a person feel heard.

4. Thank: Thank them for telling you how they feel.  Even crappy feedback is feedback.  “We want to know when our donors are not happy with us, and I’m so glad you told me about this.  Thank you.”

5. Say sorry: Now comes the hard part.  Say you’re sorry.  Not “I’m sorry if this was bad/if you feel that way.” Say “I’m sorry this was a bad experience. We never want anyone to feel that way about us, and so we’re sincerely sorry.”

6. Act: Say and do something to fix the problem the person is angry about.  If you can’t do what they want, do the best you can.  Do something.

7. Follow up to show you acted: Get back to them a day later and say again that you’re sorry and how you addressed the problem. 

8. Follow up again to make sure things are okay now: Check back in a week or two later.  You might just win someone back (or over).